Going Pains

2026: Are We There Yet?

"In 2001, millennial pop star Britney Spears sang that she was “not a girl, not yet a woman”. In other words, she was an adolescent. Actually, she was 20 at the time—no longer a teenager, but well below the age at which our frontal lobes stop developing. With your team, explore the history of teenagers and the related terms below. If adolescence has always been a developmental stage in both humans and many other animals, why is the idea of teenagers so new?"

The idea that the brain fully develops at age 25 is a myth.
This belief came from early brain imaging studies that only tracked people up to about age 25, not because development actually stops there.
The prefrontal cortex does continue developing into the mid-20s, but this is not a clear endpoint.
Brain development is ongoing, not a sudden switch where someone becomes “fully developed.”
New research shows that important brain changes continue into the 30s and beyond.
Different parts of the brain develop at different speeds, so there is no single age of full maturity.
Processes like synaptic pruning and strengthening neural pathways continue into the late 20s.
The “25” idea became popular because it is simple and easy to repeat, especially on social media, but it does not reflect full scientific understanding.
Brain development is a lifelong process, and maturity cannot be defined by a single age.

The concept of a “teenager” is new, as people were not historically seen as a separate age group between childhood and adulthood.
Before the 1900s, most young people quickly entered adult roles like working.
The term “teenager” became widely used and culturally important after World War II.
The postwar economic boom gave teenagers more spending power, making them an important consumer group.
Cars gave teenagers more independence, especially in their social lives and relationships.
Adults often worried about teenage behavior, sometimes exaggerating the problem.
Teenagers’ brains are still developing, which makes them more likely to take risks and be influenced by peers.
In modern times, social media and smartphones have become the main way teenagers express identity and interact.
Teenagers are often the first to adopt new trends and ideas.

Adolescence happens in many animals, not just humans.
It is a stage where young animals start becoming independent from their parents.
Animals often leave their home during this time to find new places and avoid mating with family members.
Young animals learn important survival skills like finding food and staying safe.
Adolescent animals are more open to new experiences and learn quickly.
They take more risks, which helps them learn about danger and survive later.
Learning how to interact with others and fit into groups is very important during this stage.
Some animals must join new groups, which requires adapting to new social rules.
Studying animals helps scientists understand human teenagers better.

prefrontal cortex:

The prefrontal cortex is the front part of the brain that helps with thinking, decision-making, and self-control.
It controls important skills like planning, focusing, and understanding consequences.
This part of the brain helps people manage emotions and make responsible choices.
The prefrontal cortex is not fully developed in teenagers.
It continues to grow and develop into the mid-20s.
Because it is still developing, teens may act more on impulse and take more risks.
Teens rely more on the emotional part of the brain instead of the thinking part.
This can make teens more influenced by friends and peer pressure.
As the prefrontal cortex develops, people get better at controlling behavior and making smart decisions.

neural pruning:

Neural pruning is the process where the brain removes extra or unused connections between neurons.
It helps the brain become more efficient by keeping only the most useful connections.
This process happens a lot during childhood and adolescence.
The brain strengthens connections that are used often and gets rid of ones that are not used.
Neural pruning helps improve thinking, learning, and decision-making.
It allows the brain to work faster and more effectively.
Experiences and habits affect which connections are kept or removed.

risk-taking:

Risk-taking is more common during adolescence than in childhood or adulthood.
Teenagers are more likely to try new and sometimes dangerous activities.
This happens partly because the brain is still developing, especially the decision-making areas.
The emotional and reward parts of the brain are more active during this time.
Peer pressure can increase risk-taking, especially when friends are present.
Taking risks can help teens learn new skills and become more independent.
Not all risk-taking is bad, because it can lead to growth and learning.
As the brain matures, people usually become better at controlling risky behavior.

neophilia:

Neophilia means a strong interest in trying new things and seeking new experiences.
It is common during adolescence.
Teenagers are more likely to explore new activities, places, and ideas.
This happens because the brain is more sensitive to rewards and excitement.
Neophilia helps teens learn, grow, and become independent.
It can lead to creativity and discovering new interests.
However, it can also lead to risky behavior if not controlled.
This trait decreases as people get older and become more cautious.

differentiation:

Differentiation is the process of becoming more independent as a person.
It often happens during adolescence.
Teenagers start forming their own identity, beliefs, and values.
They begin to think for themselves instead of only following parents or adults.
Differentiation includes developing personal interests, style, and goals.
It can sometimes cause conflict with parents as teens seek more freedom.
This process is an important part of growing up and becoming an person.

"The word “adolescent” comes from a Latin word meaning “to grow toward”. But “teenager” relies on a quirk of the English language—that the numbers 11 and 12 have their own unique words, while 13 through 19 are compound words that combine a single-digit number and a suffix meaning “ten” (four-teen, six-teen, and so on). How do other languages refer to adolescents and teenagers—and does your own first language differentiate between these two terms? What are their different connotations? Do cultures with languages that use a -ten suffix for the numbers 11 and 12 define the “teenage” years differently? For instance, in Spanish, the -ten suffix only comes into play at 16—diez (10) y seis (6); do children only become teenagers at 16 in Spanish-speaking countries?"

The word “adolescent” comes from Latin and means “to grow,” focusing on development and change.
The word “teenager” comes from English number patterns, especially numbers ending in “-teen”.
English separates 11 and 12 from “teen” numbers, which is why “teenager” starts at 13.
Different languages name ages differently, so the idea of a “teenager” is not the same everywhere.
Some languages do not have a direct word for “teenager” and instead use words similar to “youth” or “young person.”
The word “adolescent” is more formal and focuses on growth, while “teenager” is more casual and based on age.
In Spanish, number patterns are different, but that does not mean people only become teenagers at 16.
Cultural ideas about growing up are not based only on how numbers are said in a language.
Different cultures may define youth and adulthood based more on social roles and expectations than exact ages.

"Many cultures hold special ceremonies to celebrate the passage from the dependency of childhood to the responsibilities of adulthood. With your team, explore the following rites of passage and consider: what is the difference between a cultural rite, such as a quinceañera, and a secular one, like graduating from high school?"

Sweet sixteens:

A Sweet Sixteen is a celebration of a person turning 16 years old.
It is especially popular in the United States and some other cultures.
The celebration marks a step toward adulthood and independence.
It often includes a party with friends, family, music, and dancing.
Some families make it very formal, while others keep it simple.
Traditions can include special dresses, speeches, or symbolic moments.
Turning 16 is seen as important because teens may gain more responsibilities, like driving.
The celebration shows how cultures mark important ages during adolescence.

Fiesta de Quinceañera:

A quinceañera is a special celebration for a girl’s 15th birthday in many Latin American cultures.
It represents her transition from childhood into young adulthood.
The celebration usually includes a religious ceremony followed by a large party.
The quinceañera typically wears a formal, elegant dress similar to a ball gown.
A quinceañera often includes a court of honor, which is a group of friends chosen to be part of the celebration.
The court is usually made up of damas (girls) and chambelanes (boys).
The main male escort is called the chambelán de honor, who dances closely with the quinceañera.
The group performs a choreographed dance that is practiced for weeks or months.
The dance is an important highlight and is performed in front of guests.
Being chosen as a dama or chambelán is considered an honor.

Vision quests:

A vision quest is a traditional practice in some Indigenous cultures, especially among Native American groups.
It is a spiritual journey that helps a person find guidance or purpose.
It is often done during adolescence as a rite of passage into adulthood.
The person usually goes alone into nature for a period of time.
During the quest, they may fast, pray, or meditate.
The goal is to receive a vision, insight, or message that gives direction in life.
The experience is meant to build independence and self-understanding.
After the quest, the person may share their experience with elders or the community.

Guan Li:

Guan Li is a traditional Chinese coming-of-age ceremony for boys.
It usually takes place around the age of 20.
The ceremony marks the transition from youth to adulthood.
During Guan Li, the young man receives a formal cap, symbolizing maturity and responsibility.
He may also receive an adult name.
The ceremony shows that he is now expected to take on adult roles in society.
It is rooted in Confucian traditions and values.
Guan Li emphasizes respect, responsibility, and proper behavior.
Today, it is not as commonly practiced but is still culturally important.

Seijin no Hi:

Seijin no Hi is a Japanese holiday that celebrates young people becoming adults.
It is held every year on the second Monday of January.
The celebration is for people who turn 18, the legal age of adulthood in Japan.
It marks the transition into adult responsibilities and independence.
Many young adults attend ceremonies held by their local communities.
Participants often wear traditional clothing, such as kimonos.
The events include speeches, encouragement, and recognition of their new status.
Family and friends also celebrate this important milestone.

Bar and Bat Mitzvahs:

Bar and Bat Mitzvahs are Jewish ceremonies that celebrate a child becoming responsible for their own religious and moral duties.
A Bar Mitzvah is for boys at age 13, and a Bat Mitzvah is for girls at age 12 or 13, depending on the community.
The ceremony marks the transition from childhood to adulthood in the Jewish faith.
The child reads from the Torah, demonstrating their understanding of Jewish teachings.
Families and communities celebrate with a party or reception after the religious ceremony.
The event often includes speeches, music, and symbolic rituals.
The ceremony shows that the child is now accountable for their own actions in religious life.

Walkabout:

A walkabout is a traditional rite of passage for young Aboriginal boys in Australia.
It usually takes place during adolescence, around the time they transition into adulthood.
During a walkabout, boys leave their homes to live in the wilderness alone for a period of time.
The journey teaches survival skills and knowledge of the land.
It is a spiritual and cultural experience, connecting the boys to their ancestors and traditions.
The walkabout helps them gain independence and maturity.
After completing the walkabout, they return to the community recognized as young adults.

Khatam al-Quran:

Khatam al-Quran is an Islamic ceremony that celebrates a person completing the reading of the entire Quran.
It is often held for children or teenagers who have finished memorizing or reading the Quran.
The ceremony marks a spiritual milestone and shows dedication to faith and learning.
Family, friends, and community members gather to celebrate the achievement.
Recitations from the Quran are performed during the event.
Speeches and prayers are often included to honor the person’s accomplishment.
It is considered an important moment in a young Muslim’s spiritual development.

debuts:

A debut is a Filipino celebration for a girl’s 18th birthday.
It marks her transition from childhood to young adulthood.
The event is usually a big party with family, friends, and community members.
The birthday girl wears an elegant gown, often like a ball gown.
A court of honor is included, made up of 18 damas (girls) and chambelanes (boys).
She performs a choreographed dance with her court, often including a waltz.
Traditions include the 18 roses and 18 candles ceremonies.
The 18 roses represent dances with important men in her life.
The 18 candles represent wishes or advice from female relatives and friends.

high school graduation:

High school graduation is a ceremony celebrating students completing their secondary education.
It marks the transition from adolescence to young adulthood and new responsibilities.
Students typically wear caps and gowns during the ceremony.
Diplomas are awarded to recognize academic achievement and completion of requirements.
Speeches are often given by school officials, teachers, or students.
Family and friends usually attend to celebrate the graduate’s accomplishments.
Graduation symbolizes an ending (high school) and a beginning (college, work, or other paths).
Ceremonies may include traditions like tossing caps in the air or walking across a stage.

driver’s license:

Getting a driver’s license is a milestone that often happens during adolescence.
It marks independence and personal responsibility.
Teenagers must pass written and practical tests to show they can drive safely.
Many countries have graduated licensing systems, with restrictions for new drivers.
In the United States, many teenagers can get a driver’s license at age 16, depending on the state.
In many other countries, the legal driving age is 18.
Waiting until 18 means teens have more maturity and experience before driving independently.
Teen drivers in the U.S. may face higher risks because they are younger and less experienced.

first paycheck:

A first paycheck is the first payment a person receives from a job.
It is often an important milestone in adolescence or young adulthood.
Receiving a paycheck teaches responsibility for managing money.
Teens learn about budgeting, saving, and spending wisely.
First paychecks may also include taxes or deductions, which teach about financial obligations.
Earning money helps teens understand the value of work and effort.
Family or mentors often guide teens in handling their first earnings responsibly.
The experience encourages planning for future financial goals.

national service:

National service is a program where young people participate in government-sponsored work or training for their country.
It can include military service, community service, or other public service projects.
Many countries require national service for young adults, usually around ages 18-20.
Participants often develop teamwork, leadership, and practical skills.
National service can help young people contribute to their community or country.
In some countries, service is mandatory, while in others it is voluntary.
It is considered a rite of passage into adulthood and citizenship.

voting:

Voting is the process of choosing leaders or deciding on laws in elections.
It is a key responsibility of citizenship and marks participation in democracy.
In most countries, the legal voting age is 18.
Voting gives people a voice in government and society.
Teenagers and young adults often view voting as a milestone of adulthood.
Education about politics and government helps people make informed choices.
Some countries have campaigns to encourage first-time voters to participate.
Voting is a way to influence decisions that affect communities and the future.

moving out:

Moving out is when a young person leaves their family home to live independently.
It is often seen as a milestone of adulthood.
Teens or young adults may move out for college, work, or personal independence.
Moving out teaches responsibility for managing money, chores, and daily life.
It requires making decisions about housing, food, and time management.
Living alone or with roommates helps develop problem-solving and social skills.
Moving out can be exciting but also challenging, as it comes with new responsibilities.

"A ceremony offers a definite moment: now you are a man, or woman, or more broadly an adult. But the transition to adulthood is rarely a single, clean step; more often, it is a series of stumbles. The following works explore the messy middle years, where childhood collides with the expectations of tradition, society, and self-identity. As you explore them, consider: is adulthood a destination you reach or a mask you learn to wear?"

“We Real Cool" by Gwendolyn Brooks (1963):

Gwendolyn Brooks was an American poet and writer.
She was the first African American to win the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry, which she received in 1950.
Brooks often wrote about African American life, especially in urban communities.
The poem focuses on a group of young people who skip school and live a rebellious lifestyle.
The poem uses a simple, rhythmic style with short lines and repetition.
Each line begins with “We,” emphasizing the identity of the group.
Brooks portrays confidence and danger in the teenagers’ choices.
The poem ends with the line “We / Die soon,” showing the potential consequences of their lifestyle.
It reflects on the fleeting nature of youth and the risks of rebellion.
The poem is often studied for its social commentary on urban youth and society’s expectations.

“The Medicine Bag” by Virginia Driving Hawk Sneve (1975):

Virginia Driving Hawk Sneve is a Native American writer, known for stories that explore Lakota culture and traditions.
The story is about a young Lakota boy named Martin who learns about his family heritage.
Martin’s grandfather comes to visit him in the city, bringing a traditional medicine bag.
The medicine bag is a sacred family heirloom, passed down through generations.
It contains items that represent family history, cultural values, and spiritual protection.
Martin struggles with embarrassment at first because he is more focused on fitting in with his peers.
The story shows Martin gaining respect for his culture and understanding the importance of family traditions.
By the end, Martin proudly accepts the medicine bag and his cultural heritage.
The story teaches readers about the importance of honoring one’s heritage and family legacy.

“In Mrs. Tilscher’s Class” by Carol Ann Duffy (1990):

Carol Ann Duffy is a British poet who became the United Kingdom’s first female Poet Laureate in 2009.
The poem reflects on childhood memories of school and the experience of learning.
Mrs. Tilscher is the teacher, remembered for her care and warmth.
The poem captures the innocence and wonder of early childhood.
It explores the transition from childhood into the awareness of the world.
Sensory details, such as smells, sounds, and tactile experiences, are used for memories.
The poem shows the safety of the classroom and the excitement and uncertainty of growing up.
The poem contrasts the protection of the classroom with the challenges and realities of the world beyond it.

“Where Do We Go From Here?” by Joss Whedon (2001):

Joss Whedon is an American screenwriter, director, and producer.
He is known for creating and writing for TV shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and films such as The Avengers.
The piece explores themes of uncertainty and decision-making during times of change.
It focuses on transitions in life, asking how people move forward when facing challenges.
It shows the tension between fear of the unknown and the opportunity for growth.
The writing encourages readers to consider their own paths and the consequences of their decisions.

“Lucy's Home for Girls Raised by Wolves” by Karen Russell (2006):

Karen Russell is an American writer known for her imaginative short stories that used coming-of-age themes.
The story is about a boarding school for girls who were literally raised by wolves.
It explores themes of identity and the struggle between wild instincts and social rules.
Lucy, the protagonist, navigates life between her animal past and human society.
It reflects on the challenges of fitting in while maintaining individuality.
The story is also about the relationships between the girls and how they cope with their upbringing.

“Lost Boy” by Ruth B (2015):

Ruth B is a Canadian singer and songwriter known for her emotional storytelling through music.
“Lost Boy” is a song that tells a story inspired by the character Peter Pan and the idea of never growing up.
The lyrics describe feeling isolated and finding comfort in a fantasy world.
The narrator identifies with the “lost boys,” representing people who feel out of place in the real world.
Friendship and connection are important, as the narrator finds a sense of family in the fantasy world.
The song resonates with listeners who feel misunderstood or different from others.

“Let Me Begin Again” by Major Jackson (2021):

Major Jackson is an American poet known for his work exploring African American life.
The poem explores themes of renewal, second chances, and personal transformation.
It reflects the desire to start over and leave past mistakes behind.
It emphasizes reflection, learning from past experiences, and moving forward.
The tone encourages readers to embrace new beginnings.
The poem resonates with anyone facing challenges or seeking to redefine themselves.

"Millennials—people born between about 1981 and 1995—gave us side parts, skinny jeans, and “adulting”. This term transformed adulthood into a verb, something you do (often with great effort) rather than something you simply are. Whether going to bed early, scheduling a dentist appointment, or buying a vacuum cleaner, describing your actions as “adulting” implies you are just role-playing as a grown-up. Consider with your team: is being an adult a specific feeling or just a collection of habits and responsibilities? When do you think you will feel like an adult?"

“Adulting” is an informal word people use to describe acting like an adult or doing things adults are expected to do.
It is used as a verb, for example, “I am adulting today.”
The term became popular on social media around 2008, especially with millennials.
“Adulting” usually refers to responsibilities like doing taxes, grocery shopping, or managing a household, which are everyday tasks of independent life.
People use the word in different ways.
Sometimes it is joking, sometimes it is proud, and sometimes it shows that adult responsibilities are hard.
It reflects how some young adults experience the transition into adulthood later than older generations did.
The word shows how language changes as culture changes, especially as life stages like adulthood shift over time.

"Life is a journey—but does it end with a final port of call or a temporary layover? Explore the following works and discuss with your team: how do they handle the idea of life approaching its last liminal moment?"

“A stone I died” by Rumi (c. 13th century):

Rumi was a 13th-century Persian poet, Islamic scholar, and Sufi mystic.
The poem explores transformation and spiritual growth through metaphor.
Rumi compares experiences to a stone that dies and is reborn in a new form.
The poem reflects the Sufi idea of letting go of the ego to achieve spiritual awakening.
It emphasizes the idea that suffering or endings can lead to new beginnings.
The poem encourages acceptance of life’s cycles and the impermanence of the material world.

“Death Be not Proud” by John Donne (1633):

John Donne was an English poet and cleric.
The poem is a sonnet that addresses Death as if it were a person.
Donne challenges the power and fear of Death, saying it should not be proud or feared.
The poem presents Death as weak because it is temporary and leads to eternal life for believers.
Donne uses metaphysical conceits, comparing Death to sleep and other human experiences.
The poem emphasizes that death is not final and has no ultimate power over the human spirit.
It reflects the Christian idea that death is a passage rather than an end.

"Ulysses” by Alfred Lord Tennyson (1842):

Alfred Lord Tennyson was a British poet and a Poet Laureate of the United Kingdom.
The poem is a dramatic monologue spoken by Ulysses (Odysseus) after returning home from the Trojan War.
Ulysses feels restless and craves adventure.
The poem emphasizes the idea of living fully and striving for purpose, even in old age.
He encourages action and continuous effort despite challenges.
The poem celebrates the drive to seek meaning.

“Because I could not stop for Death” by Emily Dickinson (1890):

Emily Dickinson is an American poet.
The poem personifies Death as a polite guide who takes the speaker on a carriage ride.
The speaker reflects calmly on death, suggesting acceptance rather than fear.
Dickinson uses imagery of a carriage ride passing familiar scenes like school, fields, and the setting sun to represent life stages.
The poem emphasizes that death is a natural part of life.
The poem also hints at eternity, showing that life continues in a spiritual sense after death.

"Gitanjali 95” by Rabindranath Tagore (1913):

Rabindranath Tagore was an Indian poet, philosopher, and Nobel Prize winner in Literature in 1913.
The poem reflects devotion to God and the desire for spiritual union.
Tagore expresses humility, seeing himself as small and dependent on the divine.
The poem emphasizes gratitude and the joy of receiving blessings from God.
Nature and everyday experiences are often used as symbols of divine presence.
The poem explores the connection between the human soul and a higher power.

5th Symphony: Fourth Movement by Dmitri Shostakovich (1972):

Dmitri Shostakovich was a Russian composer.
This movement is part of Shostakovich’s Symphony No. 5, composed in 1937.
The symphony was written in response to political pressure in the Soviet Union and is often seen as a compromise between artistic expression and government expectations.
The fourth movement is dramatic, conveying triumph and irony.
The movement features strong orchestration and dynamic contrasts.
Shostakovich uses musical motifs to create emotional impact and convey psychological states.

“Please Call Me by My True Names” by Thich Nhat Hanh (1976):

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, teacher, and peace activist.
The poem emphasizes the interconnectedness of all living beings and the universe.
He asks readers to recognize the joy and suffering in themselves and others.
The poem shows the idea that every person and thing contains both light and dark, good and suffering.
The poem reflects Buddhist teachings about interbeing and the importance of awareness.
It invites readers to embrace responsibility for others’ suffering and act with kindness.

“A Letter from Isaac Asimov to his Wife Janet, Written on His Deathbed” by David Berman (1999):

David Berman was an American poet and musician.
The poem is written as a letter from Isaac Asimov to his wife, imagining his final thoughts.
The poem reflects on the enduring bond between partners, even in the face of death.
Berman conveys vulnerability and reflection on life’s fleeting nature.
The poem emphasizes gratitude and the significance of personal relationships.
It shows the inevitability of death while focusing on emotional connections.

“In the End” by Linkin Park (2000):

Linkin Park is an American rock band formed in 1996, known for blending rock, hip-hop, and electronic music.
The song explores themes of frustration and the limits of effort in life.
Lyrics express the feeling of trying hard at something but not achieving the desired outcome.
The song mixes rap verses (by Mike Shinoda) and melodic choruses (by Chester Bennington) to convey emotion.
The repeated line “I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter” shows loss of motivation.
The song resonates with listeners experiencing challenges, disappointment, or unfulfilled goals.